Another Letter

I’m sure you knew this day would come

The day after my ranting

And cursing of my life

Yes, anger directed at God

Not knowing how to trust anymore

Or maybe even

Forgetting to trust

I’m not sure where my life is headed Lord

But I sure forgot that my life is not my own

That I live for you

That you own this life

And that I gave it all up to you

How could I forget that?

But I did

In the midst of my pain and my crying

In the midst of my tears

I forgot my identity in you

Who am I God?

Who have I been for so long?

I look at other people’s lives

All the freaking time

And compare myself to them

Wonder why I couldn’t be like them

Wonder why my dreams didn’t have to come true

I wonder a lot Lord

I wonder too much sometimes

Still I haven’t come to that place

That place of ultimate trust in an all-loving God

That place of knowing

That you are who you are

And that you never change

Yes, it’s been many rejections

It’s been a lot of pain

But you are still on the throne

You are still alive Lord

You still reign

And I place my hopes, my dreams, and all my plans in your hands

Safe and secure may they rest in your will

May your will be done in my life

Take me where you need me to go

Forgive me Lord of my sins

Forgive me for failing to trust in you in my inmost pain

Forgive me for not praising you in my pain

Forgive me for bearing my anger against you

Forgive me Lord