For Single Girls…

I've been thinking about leaving, how you'll leave, how you've left, how they always leave.

When I sat next to you in church today I thought you would pray for me. The pastor said, "Pray for the person next to you", and I thought you would hug me to you, whisper an ode for me, inflame a bygone love to fill my inborn longing, to mark me with your infinite touch, and commit me to His arms, to your arms.

Yet I was alone when I reached my hand over your back, let it settle on that perfect arch, where the bend of your spine told me to stop. I swear I felt your heartbeat. And a pool of your warmth settled on my palm, and I prayed for you, longed for you. Hungered for His love to fill your heart to fill mine.

Maybe you would watch me in white walking down an aisle to your embrace, maybe you would carry me over a threshold and make me yours forever. Maybe you would kiss me. Seal His love in your heart, on my lips, in my heart.

But you left. Left without saying goodbye, without a word, neither charming nor the prince. They said the ones who love God are the best. They were wrong. They were right. Because here I am with my love-lorn-heart, writing about how you'll leave. How you've left. How they all leave.

Fall in love with Him before you fall for him. You may never be his bride, or you may be his bride for a while. But you’ll be His bride for all eternity.

Burdens We Were Never Meant to Carry

It seems trivial at first because it’s become a part of you. It sticks to you like a second skin, clawing at your body and your nerves. It breathes to seize your breath, take over your waking moments, till all you want to do is look over your shoulder and wonder; wonder who’s watching, who’s judging, who’s applauding your performance.

Today I walked down an icy road with the past staring like a hollowed tunnel before me, and I heard your voice, felt it settle on my heart like a warm touch on winter's night, like the first sign of rain in drought.

You said you carried the cross for me. You hung forsaken, your body torn, laden with enough burdens for eternity. 

I’m sorry for the burdens I keep taking up, sorry that it took me this long to obey. I’ll shed my skin for you, run my race for you, take your light burden and your easy yoke upon me. Because I’m done with this burden I was never meant to carry. 

All I want is to be with You.

Missing You...

When I dance under the watch of winter
Among the crystal snowflakes upon a white earth
I dream of the ones with whom I once walked under a fiery sun
Among stony crevasses along a thousand-year old valley
The ones who seal the symphony of my life
Who author the song that guides me home.

When I will feel wrinkles mutilate the contours on my face
And time ravage my bones and my brain
My heart will yet beat with joy
Knowing full well that the best of my days
Was spent loving you
And being loved by you.