Slimpossible Season 254

Royale Media Services - CityZen Television
Slimpossible Entertainment & Weight Loss Program
P.O. Box 000254-00100
Nairobi,
Kenya.

Dear Applicant,

We wish to regretfully inform you that we have turned down your application for Slimpossible Season 254. Unfortunately, you have not met our requirements regarding the history of weight gain. Please refer to our explanation below.

According to your application, you informed us that you have lived in the diaspora for ten years, only returning to Kenya for intermittent visits. In the period you were away, you gained 50 kg from MacDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, mac n’ cheese, pizza, and micro-waved vegetables. During this period, you also opted to substitute fresh juice and traditional sour milk, mursik, with fizzy Diet Coke and other carbonated drinks. You often topped this off with a barrage of Tortilla chips and chocolate, junk food you used as snacks instead of nuts or a bottle of water. As a result of this lifestyle, you have dramatically put on weight in a manner that does not conform to the average standards for African women.

Our contestants are women between the ages of 25 to 50 who have gained weight through acceptable Kenyan lifestyles. Our average woman has given birth to at least one child. As you know, many women increase in body weight following this natural process. We also recognize plus size women, whose figures are genetically predetermined, but who only need to learn alternative eating habits to achieve healthy and fulfilling lives. Finally, our contestants have become overweight through eating ugali, nyama choma and perhaps indulging in a bit of Tusker. Only pots obtained through such methods are eligible for our award winning weight loss program.

We encourage you to go online and search for appropriate weight loss programs suitable for your fast paced American lifestyle. Alternatively, you can move back to Kenya and adhere to a strict Kenyan weight gain program. If you choose to do so, we may reconsider your application in a year’s time.

Sincerely,

Lalian Mully

Love Letter To A Saviour

When I remember you, I begin to tear up. I read that story over and over again, reliving the horror, the pain that will be the recurring trope forever. We will laugh and we will rejoice, and maybe for a time, we will forget, but then we remember that you left a hole in our world, a heart-shaped love hole of the beauty that you were, that you still are.

When I remember you, I begin to tear up. I reach to the depth of my heart and I seek that God-man, the one I learnt to hold on to when I was in my teens, when I thought that love could only be achieved through proving who I was to society, showing them that I could be as they want me to be, and I remember your own struggles, and how I wish, deeply wish that I had known you, walked with you some more.

When I remember you, I begin to tear up. I revisit the memories, the recordings, the videos and the stories, I remember the walk when you reached to hold my hand and hug me to your heart, to remind me that we can walk with humans only so far, but that there’s one who can take us even farther, through the valley of the shadow of death, to a plain of peace, where streams make glad the city of God.

When I remember you, I begin to tear up. I know that I am but a fickle light, blurring slowly against the vastness of eternity, where sometimes my strength fails, and the desire to join you grows stronger, yet the call doesn’t come, and his strength innervates me, pushing me to keep moving forward, to know that my task is not yet done, that my journey is still on, and he still walks with me.

When I remember you, I begin to tear up. I begin to write because I know no one will understand, perhaps a few, but even then it will not matter, because this is a love letter to you, because when the ink ends and the tears dry up, when the wind stops whistling and the rain falling, when I smell color and dance under the shadow of your wings, then I will be finally home, and I will see you again.

True Love gives Glory to God

Dear d,

I’m hardly the best person to be dishing out love advice, but I think I’ve learnt a thing or two. I’ve read your blogs, stalked you on facebook, held you when you cried, and basically heard you rant about the XY species.

My letter isn’t long, but it’s something I’ve been praying about, and something I hope you will learn. I pray that you know that true love gives glory to God. I pray that you meet a man who will love God more that he will ever love you. I pray that you know a man who will pray with you, always. I pray that you love a man who will challenge you to grow in your relationship with God, because he knows that you and God is more important than you and him.

It’s that simple and it’s not that simple. But it can be done. My dear friend Tai did it. She always reminded me that if God wills it, then it will come to pass. At the end of the day, He should reign supreme. Tai taught me so much; she had the clearest understanding of what it means to have a relationship that brings glory to God.

That said, you know that I also have my weaknesses. But I won’t, and I hope that you won’t, settle for less. Let him remind you of Christ. That is all.

And please watch this again!

Love,
m.

Dear Tai

Dear Tai,

I still can’t believe that you are gone. Yes, you are gone too soon. I can’t imagine that I won’t see you growing up and getting married and having kids. It’s all just unbelievable. I never in my wildest dreams thought that you would die, and die so young that is. You were so beautiful; you were amazing and utterly wonderful. I know that I didn’t grow up much with you, and that makes it all the more amazing-that in the brief moments God gave me with you, they were wonderful, and never wasted moments. I don’t know if you know that you were the only person I felt comfortable being absolutely honest with? You are one of the few people who saw the big dilemma that so often plagues my life…

Oh I can’t believe that you are gone? Why now? Why so soon?

It’ll take a long time for me to accept that you will no longer be there with me. Look at our lives Tai, how it’s been apart and the together and then apart again. I can’t imagine that the next time I’ll ever be able to see you, is when I breathe my last breath on earth. I can’t believe that you no longer breathe. You are not alive Tai, you are not alive…..

It’s so surreal, everything. Who would’ve thought the most beautiful of people would be the first to leave, who would’ve thought???







Truly, God’s beauty and love chased after you every day of your life,







And now you are back home in the house of God for the rest of your life. Psalm 23 The Message.
















When you died, I died too. And from then God has been living my life for me, I’m no longer living. I’m not happy, I’m joyful.